The last time I was in Chelsea none of the late-night bars on the Kings Road would let me in. Not because I was drunk, rude or anything remotely exciting but because three out of five in my group were wearing trainers. They weren’t gym trainers; they were trainers that normal people outside of Chelsea would wear in bars. Anyway, I hadn’t been back since the clipboard brigade wagged their pointy nailed fingers at my feet but this was a special occasion.
My friend and former flatmate, Cinzia, was moving back to Italy and was hosting a soirée to say goodbye to her favourite Londoners. Wearing appropriate footwear, I headed south-west with my boyfriend in tow. We were both starving so I Googled somewhere to eat before going to the pub. Haché was around the corner. Brilliant. I’d wanted to go there for ages.
As it was a sunny Sunday, the restaurant was near-empty. Everyone else was squashed onto the benches outside the pub next door. Nothing about this place said burgers. The tables were set with cutlery and wine glasses, there were fancy lamp shades from Graham & Green and there wasn’t a squeezy tomato-shaped sauce bottle in sight. We were seated by the window next to two men discussing whether one should text the girl he had gone on a date with last night. He probably should, I thought.
Our welcoming waitress talked us through the menu. A Haché burger is not your usual burger; it is made by finely chopping a prime cut of steak which is then moulded into a burger. I ordered one covered in Stilton topped with avocado while my boyfriend chose one covered in a fondue sauce topped with cornichons. We also shared some creole chicken wings.
On its website, it says that Haché in Chelsea is ‘a great place for celebrity watching’. It’s true. We saw Jeremy Clarkson shuffling across the road with a frown on his face. Our mound of wings arrived covered in a bright and flavourful sauce. They were good. Actually, they were better than good; they were bloody delicious. If it wasn’t for the fact they were served with a sour cream dip they may have knocked The Orange Buffalo wings off the My Favourite Wings Of All Time top spot. Everyone knows chicken wings are served with a blue cheese sauce…
After devouring the almost perfect wings we were presented with our burgers. My avocado was missing but I guess some may question what place an avocado has on a burger. My plate was taken away and topped with avocado quicker than you can say: ‘Where’s the avocado?’.
I have said this before and I will say it again. I love a burger. A burger with blue cheese and avocado, sweet potato fries and aioli is one of my favourite meals. It would be the meal I would choose if I was on I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! Yes, if I had been surviving on rice and leaves for three weeks, or however long it is, I would totally want my first proper meal to be a burger and fries.
I’m pleased to report that Haché was every bit as good as I wanted it to be. I’d definitely go back. Maybe next time I’ll take my own blue cheese sauce though.